Comments on: Half-Apologies Don’t Resolve Negative Emotions

By: martez jerome

martez jerome — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 05:51:16 +0000

Claude,
This simple poster will be a welcome addition to my household! I stress the importance of making things right when you have come into the knowledge that you have wronged someone. My wife will be made aware that this is no a household plaque. Ha!

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By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 04:53:59 +0000

When I taught Six Sigma and we dealt with handling customer issues, I would stress the following 3-step process which also has worked well personally:

1. Fix the person
2. Fix the problem
3. Fix the process

Rationale — You ticked someone off so they first thing you need to do is to get that person/ company to be in the proper mindset to accept whatever restitution you were going to offer. Then, you don’t want to just prevent the mistake from happening again (fixing the process), but you actually want to fix the problem/ issue/ perceived slight. Then you fix the process.

If you do it out of order or miss a step, you are only slightly better off than if you hadn’t tried to apologize at all.

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By: BILL SHELTON

BILL SHELTON — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 22:39:27 +0000

OUTSTANDING! Thank you for the insights. There are so many half-apologies issued all the time. Apologies must be unconditional. The only thing worse than the half-apology is the insincere apology. The kind we commonly get from professional athletes. Those are the apologies which really mean, “I’m not sorry for what I did, I’m sorry I got caught.”

Claude, as always, you bring great topics to the table . . . topics we should all discuss and take to heart.

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By: bill tosheff

bill tosheff — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:15:20 +0000

Look…what you are referring to is the Cambridge incident…I think. Here’s an older professor who generally calls all the shots in the classroom and confronts a younger man who’s following the rules given to him through his training. He’s got some seniority. The prof could have simply said, “Look, let me explain my feelings about what’s happening and we’ll go from there. I understand that there could be some concern about two men trying to open a front door”, instead, the old prof came back with a barrage of words not acceptable to any cop. I got a big kick watching Obama and Biden emptying out the peanut jar while the other two were trying to dialog. I really don’t think the prof will ever give in to sensibility..it’s his way or the highway. The Italians have a great way by saying..”Fo-get-about-it !!!”

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By: LeRoy Cavil

LeRoy Cavil — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:14:18 +0000

Good stuff on the apologize article.

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By: Carl

Carl — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:30:41 +0000

One of my pet peeves is what I call a “contigent” apology. As example is Justin Timberlake’s apology after the Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction” in the Super Bowl several years ago. He said something along the lines of, “I apologize IF you are offended.” This is not a “full” apology.

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